This is a post from the series Why is it so hard to find a life partner.
Let’s begin with the story. In the department store where I work I met an incredible girl. I perceived her as fun, driven, intelligent, everything I need to try a relationship. One day I popped on her counter and asked her to spray me with her best perfume. She did and I smelled like a grandfather. I told her that my grandfather smelled the same and she explained me about the tradition of the company which went years back in history. So I was walking around and met a friend of mine. When I told him what just happened, he explained me that the girl likes older man. I found his acknowledgement so amusing that I went back to the girl and asked her about her preferences. Funny as she is she told me that she sprayed me with this fragrance so she can call me daddy! I was dying laughing so I called her from my counter and when she picked up the phone, I said:« Who’s your daddy?!« We were laughing hard and I felt like it is the right time to ask her for the number.
She was shocked and said that she is not that easy. So I said to her not to worry as I have all the time in the world. I went to pick the most girly like perfume and sprayed the blotter. On the blotter I drew a picture of me and her having a perfume battle. I went on her counter and handed her the picture. She called me on my counter an hour later and said it smells like bubble gum. So I explained her that she is now my baby doll, so I wanted to get it right. I asked her how am I doing with the number and she started saying the numbers. Then I went like: »Oi, oi, oi! I thought you are not easy! « She started laughing and said she would give me the wrong number anyway.
I loved where things were going so I went to buy some chocolate. I left it in the drawer with her name on it so she called me on my counter another day. She asked me why the chocolate and I said that I was thinking to bribe her for the number, because this is how little girls should be treated.
I hit the bull’s eye and got the number! I was so happy to invite her on the date which never happened, because she never »had time«. So I stopped trying…
One day we were sitting outside with her best friend and a couple of my friends when a black Mercedes parks next to us. Her BFF jumps up and sais: »Wtf!? I told him not to pick me up with a black car! I don’t want to look like going on a funeral. It is Sunday for god’s sake! « Then another nice car stops by and guess who steps in?
I see this happening all the time. It is mainly the environment where I am working. Amazing girls, gorgeous, stunning, lots of times very intelligent, working on a shop floor hardly making a living. Lots of them with degrees in their pockets living the life they always wanted, having a hot sexy guy who makes a lot of money, weekends in Paris, nice clothes and Chanel handbags.
But when you spend years in an environment like this, you start seeing how desperate they are becoming. They were always talking about how good they are, what kind of projects they are working on, how they are setting their own company, how strongly entitled for the promotion they are and especially how wonderful their lives are.
But then you see that none of them got promoted and they are still having their lousy jobs being more and more miserable from day to day.
The logic behind it is very easy. Finding a partner that makes way more money than you crashes your self-confidence and self-worth. You become jealous because you see successful beautiful women seducing your wealthy partner. He is never home because he works in banking and the Chanel bag he bought you, he most probably bought for his mistress also. Once in a sudden you have so many problems that you can’t focus on your job and your projects therefore the promotion was handed to the chubby girl who smiles all the time. Years past and you are still on the god damn shop floor doing what you did when you entered with a smile.
Don’t think I am writing this post out of anger. I am just trying to be objective from what I see every day.
Being with a person from a much higher class is destructive for the relationship because of all the values that built that person throughout years and years. My father once said he could never be with a girl who wouldn’t finish her studies. There is nothing wrong if you haven’t and maybe you are the most successful woman in the world, but the point is that your drive determines your mindset.
I finished my studies of Economics, I became a makeup artist, I shut down two companies already, I play a guitar, I am learning how to sing, I read at least two books per month, I cook, I am writing my blog, I windsurf, I ski, I run and do Kickboxing, I travel and I’ve seen 36 countries, I am a tourist guide, I record videos for my Youtube channel and take photos and I love going to the theatre. There are so many things I love to do therefore I get bored of people who don’t have the drive.
There is nothing wrong if you just like to be a kindergarten teacher. Maybe you are the best kindergarten teacher ever, but the point is, that you need to search for a partner with a similar mindset. If a guy you are dating set up his own company and just employed 100 people, he will become bored of your life because he won’t perceive it being as exciting as his.
Do you understand where I am getting? Living in a dream of being successful and not doing anything about it is very destructive. You can get a glimpse of a rich life by finding a wealthy partner, but if you are not similarly successful in financial or “make it happen” terms, your life will be full of jealousy, crushed self-confidence and despair.
Maybe you are making a lot of money as an investment banker in your 30’s, but you are never home. Maybe you bought your girlfriend new Louboutin shoes, but it doesn’t help her if she can’t wear them for you. It is hard to get a balance in life between money and personal life but most of the rich people I’ve met are very desperate. Nevertheless, I see successful people! I see them every day, I see how from having nothing they touch the sky just because of their immense drive! They will be successful and will find a nice wife, but you just missed your chances, because they weren’t in your “money” cathegory.
Therefore I will end this post by saying that it is not the money we make, it is the path that we walk. The more we fall and the more we get up, the happier we are, even though we are not making as much money as our neighbour. There will always be one who will make more anyway.
Finding a rich partner won’t help you overcome your problems because the problem is not the money, the problem is your mindset!