Your Personal Online Makeup Artist

Hey, hey! I finally programmed the video makeup tutorial recommender system I was telling you about. It is an online application that recommends you makeup tutorials upon your facial features. Check it out on the link below:

AdviseMyStyle

I didn’t have enough makeup tutorials to fill it up with content so I started embedding makeup tutorials of other makeup artists as for example Monika Blunder, Lisa Eldridge, etc. When I collected 500 makeup tutorials from other artists I realized that there are not many on Youtube that would show mature women how to do their makeup. Well, I am talking about women in their 40’s or 50’s. There is loads of content for over 60 year olds, but finding a good makeup tutorial when you’re 40 is almost impossible!

That’s why I decided to focus on 40 year old women instead and I actually feel terrible that I didn’t do it before. Now I finally understand that this is the population that likes what I am doin the most. I also see that older women appreciate my idea of makeup far more than the younger generation.

Younger generation doesn’t actually care about makeup. They care about watching their peers and feel bad about themselves, because they are not that beautiful as the Youtubers they are watching. Talking about peer pressure. It is interesting how younger girls are wired to be depressed and anxious!? Or is this parent’s fault?

For all of you who understand that beauty comes from within, here is my website:

http://www.advisemystyle.com

Oh…And don’t forget to check my latest invention. I came up with a new theme of makeup tutorials where I do the same makeup on mom and her daughter. I think mom and daughter makeup tutorials will spread some love around the world because people will be able to see what is time and what really matters. I know, I know it sound very philosophical, but it is true! I hope that the younger generation will be able to understand that the Instagram makeup is not for everyone and that in a matter of a couple of years they won’t be able to wear it anyways.

Why do we need to TALK ABOUT our FEARS, FEELINGS and PROBLEMS?

I was sitting in a restaurant with a beautiful friend of mine. Behind layers of fear her eyes sparkle as she would swallow the moon. We’re chatting, sipping wine, eating pizza, when once in a sudden she leans forward and touches the pink ribbon I was wearing for the breast cancer awareness.

Take it off, it doesn’t suit your jacket. Who cares if it suits or not, it has a purpose. Well… I think you would look better without it.

Silence…

I told her she can trust me, two times that night. I told her she can talk to me whenever she likes and she knows that. I am not dumb. I see things, I feel them!

When I moved to England I went nuts. Everything in my life crashed! I broke up with my girlfriend, started living in a sh** hole and my job was far from what I wanted. I was down and no running or gym could make it better. My mind went into the self-destruct mode. Life was grey and the British sky didn’t make it any brighter.

I was convinced  I can go through this hurricane alone. I was wrong…

This is where I think Prof.Dr. Brene Brown could expand her theory. In her book she says we should share our fears only with people who earned our trust. But how can we know who earned it? And if we are somewhere where there is no one who has yet earned it, is it better to talk about our fears with random people?

My answer is yes. When you don’t have anyone to talk to, talk to random people. Listen to your instinct and choose the ones you feel were sent to you by the higher power in order to make your life easier.

I see how my friends tend to worsen the situations by keeping the fears inside. If your father is sick and it influences your behavior, why don’t you tell me how you feel? I don’t like to be guessing what to do or what to say. It is not only that you are making yourself miserable, you are also making me uncomfortable as I don’t know where I stand.

I know your parents told you one day you will be on your own, but how can we be on our own if we are all one? Wouldn’t it be easier for both of us if she would just say:

“Jure, I think I might have breast cancer…”

Why you shouldn’t have a jealous and possessive partner?

Last night I went out with a lovely Italian girl and suddenly she asked me if I am jealous. She wasn’t pleased with my negative answer so I explained it to her and then I think she was happy with what I said. But it made me think about jealousy.

There are two main sentences which jealous and possessive people use to compromise their behaviour.

»The fact I am jealous means only that I love you and I care for you.«

»You are my world. What would I do without you?«

Especially the second one is very manipulative. It is used by people that have a high level of uncertainty which is expressed by jealousy. It is used by people who don’t believe in themselves because this is how they shift their focus on us. Now we become the ones who are desired and needed and because we all love these feelings we are trapped! Instead of realising that in a healthy relationship there is no room for jealousy, once in a sudden we feel appreciated, loved, needed and special. This can make such strong positive emotions towards a jealous person because we feel like we are the only ones in the world they love. Therefore we really need to develop a strong love for ourselves and believe in us so we will be able to walk away and don’t fall into the trap. All these pathological patterns that live in minds of jealous people are so toxic that they can destroy your personality.

The only thing you need to know when you live with a jealous person is:

»Jealous people don’t care about you!«

Just trust me on this. I managed to escape a few of these traps in my life. I felt like I am the only one for them but as soon as they found another partner and didn’t feel lonely anymore they showed me how unimportant I was. They showed me how they don’t care about my feelings and how they despise my emotions.

The only thing jealous people care about are themselves! Of course they care about keeping the relationship alive but that has nothing to do with you. They care about the relationship so much because they don’t believe they will find a better one or they don’t think they deserve a better one, so they manically try to keep the relationship as it gives them a feeling of safety. It doesn’t matter how bad the relationship is it always gives you a feeling of belonging to someone. It makes you feel important especially if you don’t know who you actually are. Jealous people try to find each little hidden secret in you so they would be able to blame you for not being sincere whereas they are everything they don’t want you to be. From my experience most of the people don’t know who they are if they don’t see themselves through a relationship which is very sad. I think people just don’t know how to live with themselves anymore.

If jealous people would actually care about their partners they would wish them the best life possible. A person who really cares about us and really loves us will want only the best for us and if they realise they can’t give us what we want, they will leave us to go our own way. Of course this kind of a loving person wouldn’t celebrate the divorce but at least deep in their heart they would be happy for us.

The second thing about jealous people is that they never think critically about themselves. They never look at their actions and judge them. Of course this doesn’t mean they don’t criticise everything else. The contrary… They are grand masters in criticising the world around them. Especially they love to criticize people that endanger their perfect picture of life. The fact these people don’t like to think critically about themselves means they don’t want to put their values under revision. They don’t want to learn about life and in fact they end up seeing life very one-dimensional. They see life just how they want to see it which is very childish. This means they will avoid everything that is against their believes, they will avoid everything that makes them question their perceptions. Always when someone hurts them, they perceive this person as a »filthy pig« not even thinking about their responsibility for the situation.

I find it horrible when people get a chance to improve their lives but instead of that they start breading hatred and viciousness towards the person that gave them the chance.

Therefore I would love to see you improving. Take each moment to be better and plant love in your heart. Tell people how much you like them and why. Start doing things with passion for yourself and not to be appreciated by others. Start loving yourself and the world will love you.

Why is Facebook the best dating site or how to find love on Facebook?

I actually started hating Facebook. Every time I log in I see millions of selfies, pictures of food, kids and hundreds of stupid videos that draw my attention and waste my time. Therefore after kicking many people off my profile I decided to stop using it. I just don’t care what you had for breakfast, how your kids have grown and how you kiss your boyfriend. I don’t give a damn because I hardly know you. But I care for your achievements, I care if you show me something of a value even though we’ve met only once.

And that’s when it clicked! While I was muting notifications of people with useless content and unfriending people whose breakfast is none of my interest, I realized I can use Facebook for psychoanalysis and turn it into the best dating site ever.

If I can determine how stupid, boring or narcissistic people are just by seeing their posts, I can also tell how amazing you are. I was absolutely blown away by the idea therefore I started analyzing profiles of the girls I have on my Facebook. You won’t believe how easy it is to define people throughout their timeline.

First of all you have photos of the person, so you know if you are sexually attracted and second, there is her timeline. It is like going on a date! You scroll down and all you see are photos of her sexy ass accompanied with life quotes, maybe a few pictures of the food she ordered in a restaurant and new UGG boots. It’s easy to do a cross over her profile and put her in a »Not even for sex!« category, because she is too basic!

You don’t have time to deal with attention deficit disorder and low self-esteem issues therefore you move on to the next profile.

You see her kissing her boyfriend, plucking her boyfriend’s eyebrows, licking ice-cream with her boyfriend, wearing her boyfriend’s t-shirt with a quote »I am not jealous, but what’s mine is mine!« and a few selfies where her boobs stole the focus. You want to put her in the »Maybe later« category, but you don’t want your love to be measured in photos and you definitely don’t want a jealous chick!

This time you see her partying with her girlfriends, partying with her gay friends, even partying by herself. WTF!?

The next girl you see has a photo of her dog, lovely landscape when she went in mountains, 50 Shades of Grey in a special edition, food she cooked on a rainy day and lots of love quotes and quotes about self-sufficiency. You get the point and move on.

After scrolling through hundred profiles you see a different pattern. She graduated from college, she was partying with her friends, she bought a book about psychology, she baked a cake for her grandmother, there are loads of personalised birthday wishes on her timeline, she drew a picture of a cat riding a bicycle with a quote »Everything is possible!«, she went on a 10k charity run, she was dancing salsa, she gave a speech on the conference, she got promoted and she went in the theatre with her best friend. Two thirds of the posts are photos that were tagged by her friends (This is very important if you think about it!), the quote she wrote is her invention and she forgot to delete her ex-boyfriend’s photo because most probably they broke up after a rational decision.

Do you get it now?

Facebook is an open diary that tells you a lot about people! Forget Tinder, you are searching for a wife, not a prostitute. You can complain how people are more and more closed in their own despair, or you can do something about it.

I remember how easy it was to find love in old days. You sat next to a girl, after a minute you turned to her and asked: »Are you shy?« »No, why?« »Because I’ve been sitting here for a minute and you still haven’t said hi to me!« Bla, bla,bla…you got her number and took her out.

Now she will most probably say: »I can give you my Facebook.« There is nothing wrong with girls being fed up with weird guys and their pick up bullshit. In a world where there are more and more people who don’t know how to live even with themselves, it is a big risk to give your number to a random guy.

But the trick is that you still need to go out and meet people. You can’t just surf your Facebook! You still need to be social, only this time, add people on Facebook. From there you have plenty of topics to build the basic trust. Did she post a photo of a Winter Wonderland? Ask her how it was, because you are planning on going. She might be your tourist guide. Every normal girl needs a bit more time nowadays to get to know you and Facebook is a very safe place to do it. Play it well and you will have an amazing date!

I wrote this post from a men’s perspective, but it is easy to convert the information if you are a girl. It happened to me that the girl asked me about something I am doing, bla, bla, bla, we were dating. Was she hitting on me? I don’t know, because I started hitting on her. It was just an innocent question that led into a relationship.

And one more thing…

Don’t be too freaking picky when it comes to love, because we are not that cool as we think. Give people a chance to show you the world you never explored!

 

 

Why having your partner on Facebook ruins your relationship?

A few years ago I fell in love with a lovely young girl. It all started through Facebook actually when I declared her my first and only Facebook girlfriend. One day I posted a photo of a half naked woman with a hilarious quote wishing my male friends a Merry Christmas. You won’t believe how angry it made her, what kind of stories she imagined in her head and how vicious she became just because of one funny post. She already wanted to be in each aspect of my life and now she also wanted to be in my Facebook. Maybe I am a magnet for psycho chicks, maybe I have a ridiculously high need for personal space, but this girl started breathing my air. Then she also “befriended” a few girls I slept with and two of my ex-girlfriends. How the hell did she know who they are anyway!?

After a month I wrote a post how girls shouldn’t give their boyfriends sissy nicknames because we like to feel as macho men rather than teddy bears. We were having a dinner when once in a sudden she started saying how cool I want to look in front of my friends by writing silly posts on Facebook. That was it! She crossed the line! I had enough of her fantasies and blocked her from my profile straight away.

This was a serious problem as she started questioning my love! She managed to convince me to unblock her and put us in a relationship status, but then a new problem arose because I wasn’t posting our selfies with words like “I love you”. Even though there were pictures of us doing fun stuff and quotes like “She makes me smile”, it wasn’t enough. Millions of problems with a girl who never in our two year relationship said the words “I love you”!? And then she wondered why I left…

We are all nosey, we like to browse through our partner’s past in order to feel more secure. I admit, I scrolled through her old photos also and a few times checked profiles of guys who commented on her wall. It is funny how in order to feel more secure, my mind created stories which invented hundreds of questions. I thought I will feel more secure whereas instead I felt the opposite, so I stopped doing it.

Be aware that checking Facebook profiles of our partners or our ex-partners causes irreversible pain because we are usually not prepared to accept what we see. Maybe it depends on a person, but for me pictures get stored in my head far more than words.

This is why I blocked my ex everywhere I could as I don’t want to see a photo of her new boyfriend in my shirt again. Not now, not in two years and not ever!

Human mind is a funny thing! It can imagine stories just by checking a few photos, stories that are far from the truth. It is impossible to recreate someone’s past or even life just by checking a few photos because there is so much data missing that we wouldn’t be able to process it in our lifetime. Yet still we make up stories!?

There is a great speech on TedX by Esther Perel where she explains what creates desire. She shows the difference between the need and desire and proves how mystery drives long term relationships full of passion.

We are most drawn to our partner when she is away, when he is doing something he is passionate about, when she has a world of her own.

We are most drawn to our partner when there is mystery and Facebook and Instagram just ruined it! Having our partner on Facebook exposes a big part of the world that before was hidden from us. We think we understand it whereas instead it is an invention of our mind.

This is the first reason why you shouldn’t have your partner on Facebook. The second reason is that love between two people shouldn’t be “proved” to anyone but themselves. Why for god’s sake would I want to prove my love to people I hardly know with a stupid picture on Facebook!? I have 1134 Facebook friends which help me promote my work, but my true friends can be count on my fingers. Why would people who almost never sipped coffee with me need to know how it looks like when I cook for my girlfriend!?

Intimacy is the key to a good relationship because it builds trust! It is called intimacy because it is an intimate bond between two people and not a whole freaking world! So how the hell do you think you are intimate in a relationship if people on Philippines know what you and your boyfriend had for breakfast!?

Why you shouldn’t date a rich guy?

This is a post from the series Why is it so hard to find a life partner.

Let’s begin with the story. In the department store where I work I met an incredible girl. I perceived her as fun, driven, intelligent, everything I need to try a relationship. One day I popped on her counter and asked her to spray me with her best perfume. She did and I smelled like a grandfather. I told her that my grandfather smelled the same and she explained me about the tradition of the company which went years back in history. So I was walking around and met a friend of mine. When I told him what just happened, he explained me that the girl likes older man. I found his acknowledgement so amusing that I went back to the girl and asked her about her preferences. Funny as she is she told me that she sprayed me with this fragrance so she can call me daddy! I was dying laughing so I called her from my counter and when she picked up the phone, I said:« Who’s your daddy?!« We were laughing hard and I felt like it is the right time to ask her for the number.

She was shocked and said that she is not that easy. So I said to her not to worry as I have all the time in the world. I went to pick the most girly like perfume and sprayed the blotter. On the blotter I drew a picture of me and her having a perfume battle. I went on her counter and handed her the picture. She called me on my counter an hour later and said it smells like bubble gum. So I explained her that she is now my baby doll, so I wanted to get it right. I asked her how am I doing with the number and she started saying the numbers. Then I went like: »Oi, oi, oi! I thought you are not easy! « She started laughing and said she would give me the wrong number anyway.

I loved where things were going so I went to buy some chocolate. I left it in the drawer with her name on it so she called me on my counter another day. She asked me why the chocolate and I said that I was thinking to bribe her for the number, because this is how little girls should be treated.

I hit the bull’s eye and got the number! I was so happy to invite her on the date which never happened, because she never »had time«. So I stopped trying…

One day we were sitting outside with her best friend and a couple of my friends when a black Mercedes parks next to us. Her BFF jumps up and sais: »Wtf!? I told him not to pick me up with a black car! I don’t want to look like going on a funeral. It is Sunday for god’s sake! « Then another nice car stops by and guess who steps in?

I see this happening all the time. It is mainly the environment where I am working. Amazing girls, gorgeous, stunning, lots of times very intelligent, working on a shop floor hardly making a living. Lots of them with degrees in their pockets living the life they always wanted, having a hot sexy guy who makes a lot of money, weekends in Paris, nice clothes and Chanel handbags.

But when you spend years in an environment like this, you start seeing how desperate they are becoming. They were always talking about how good they are, what kind of projects they are working on, how they are setting their own company, how strongly entitled for the promotion they are and especially how wonderful their lives are.

But then you see that none of them got promoted and they are still having their lousy jobs being more and more miserable from day to day.

The logic behind it is very easy. Finding a partner that makes way more money than you crashes your self-confidence and self-worth. You become jealous because you see successful beautiful women seducing your wealthy partner. He is never home because he works in banking and the Chanel bag he bought you, he most probably bought for his mistress also. Once in a sudden you have so many problems that you can’t focus on your job and your projects therefore the promotion was handed to the chubby girl who smiles all the time. Years past and you are still on the god damn shop floor doing what you did when you entered with a smile.

Don’t think I am writing this post out of anger. I am just trying to be objective from what I see every day.

Being with a person from a much higher class is destructive for the relationship because of all the values that built that person throughout years and years. My father once said he could never be with a girl who wouldn’t finish her studies. There is nothing wrong if you haven’t and maybe you are the most successful woman in the world, but the point is that your drive determines your mindset.

I finished my studies of Economics, I became a makeup artist, I shut down two companies already, I play a guitar, I am learning how to sing, I read at least two books per month, I cook, I am writing my blog, I windsurf, I ski, I run and do Kickboxing, I travel and I’ve seen 36 countries, I am a tourist guide, I record videos for my Youtube channel and take photos and I love going to the theatre. There are so many things I love to do therefore I get bored of people who don’t have the drive.

There is nothing wrong if you just like to be a kindergarten teacher. Maybe you are the best kindergarten teacher ever, but the point is, that you need to search for a partner with a similar mindset. If a guy you are dating set up his own company and just employed 100 people, he will become bored of your life because he won’t perceive it being as exciting as his.

Do you understand where I am getting? Living in a dream of being successful and not doing anything about it is very destructive. You can get a glimpse of a rich life by finding a wealthy partner, but if you are not similarly successful in financial or “make it happen” terms, your life will be full of jealousy, crushed self-confidence and despair.

Maybe you are making a lot of money as an investment banker in your 30’s, but you are never home. Maybe you bought your girlfriend new Louboutin shoes, but it doesn’t help her if she can’t wear them for you. It is hard to get a balance in life between money and personal life but most of the rich people I’ve met are very desperate. Nevertheless, I see successful people! I see them every day, I see how from having nothing they touch the sky just because of their immense drive! They will be successful and will find a nice wife, but you just missed your chances, because they weren’t in your “money” cathegory.

Therefore I will end this post by saying that it is not the money we make, it is the path that we walk. The more we fall and the more we get up, the happier we are, even though we are not making as much money as our neighbour. There will always be one who will make more anyway.

Finding a rich partner won’t help you overcome your problems because the problem is not the money, the problem is your mindset!

Why is finding a LIFE PARTNER so hard?

This will be a series of posts that will complete my acknowledgements.

I decided to write this post because wherever I look there are women complaining they can’t find a partner and men are saying the same. I studied economics so if I put it in the scientific terms this means that there is a high supply and a high demand, therefore the market should be flourishing and satisfying the needs of both sexes. I also decided to write this article because there are a lot of friends asking me for a relationship advice as I am very opened and straight to the point. I will mainly concentrate on the behaviour of women because I am a straight guy with a lot of male friends who feel totally the same as I do.

I have never had such trouble finding a serious girlfriend as I have now since I moved to England where the western culture took its psychological problems to the maximum. To begin with I would like you to know that according to the Evening Standard 7% of the British population is on antidepressants.

Now let me tell you why I struggle based on the stories that happened to me and my male friends. I am working as an Account Manager in one of the most known department stores in the world. There was this girl on the other counter which totally grabbed my attention and when I spoke to her a few times I felt like I have never met such an amazing soul mate. I haven’t showed her my affection as I first wanted to get to know her better, but my attempts to take her for a lunch (A lunch, not a date!) were always rejected. So I gave up thinking that she just doesn’t like my personality. One day I was eating a sandwich in the locker room while she walked in. »Hey, what’s up? «: I asked. »Hey cheeky, how are you? «: she replied. »Whoa, whoa, whoa! Did you just call me cheeky? So I asked her why am I cheeky and she said that she sees me flirting with all the girls in the department store.

First of all I work in makeup so it is quite normal that I am surrounded by girls and second, I am a very bubbly and chatty lad that talks to everyone! I absolutely love people and I adore meeting new friends because I think people are just awesome. But I was shocked by the fact that she sees me as a cheeky guy. So I went to ask girls that I know better if they also have a perception of me as being a player and they all said yes including my ex. Lol.

Now I don’t under any circumstances perceive myself as a guy that would be something special when it comes to women and I would put myself more in a shy category than in the player one. So I was thinking how come this is happening to me and I realized that women perceive my comfort in communication as an incredibly high level of self-confidence which goes over the top. I am actually so comfortable talking to people who I don’t know that my openness usually scares the shit out of them. Just for the record, I come from an eastern country so I am not good with this closed western world bullshit. I also give people a lot of compliments. It doesn’t matter guys or girls, when I see something amazing in people I say it straight away as I find it fascinating.

Now let me give you an advice. The fact that the guy gives you a compliment on your haircut or your way of expressing yourself doesn’t mean that he is interested in you. Who the hell do you think you are that you think a guy is hitting on you just because of a little thing he noticed while having a conversation with you!? He doesn’t even know you, he might be afraid you are the same psycho as his ex girlfriend and you haven’t even showed him your value. The only thing you might have shown him is a glimpse of your personality and your looks. This is mostly the case of beautiful women as they think that the most innocent conversation will lead into a seduction because they get hit by assholes all the time.

Have you ever thought that we are not teenagers anymore and I don’t give a shit about your looks because I will get bored of them in two years anyway and after ten they will start fading faster than ever? I care about your personality and what just came out of your mouth, ruined it all.

What the hell is wrong with this western civilization!? What makes you think that because you are good looking we actually want to date you? Did it ever pop into your mind that the guy who is talking to you finds you attractive, but he is not thinking of dating you until you show him your value. Did you ever think that guys are also searching for someone who is loving, caring and has a big drive? No, seriously… Who for god’s sake do you think you are that you perceive each innocent conversation as flirting?

You are complaining how hard it is to find a normal guy and you just blew your chances by forgetting that normal guys want the same normal thing as you! We also need to go on a few dates, get to know you and do loads of things with you in order to decide if we really want to spend time with you.

Just trust me! Guys who are looking for a serious relationship are tired of beautiful women because beauty usually kills a wholehearted personality considering the thesis that beautiful people don’t need to struggle much in life. Say whatever you like, but I work in the beauty industry and I meet hundreds of gorgeous women every year having such a boring personality that they couldn’t date even their toilet paper as it would get fed up with their crap. Not to mention that it is usually beautiful girls who are so full of psychological problems that they can’t even live with themselves. My nose is too big, my legs are too short, my boobs are too small are in 95% of the cases words that come out of beautiful girls.

I give up! I just want a normal girl and not some psycho chick that will check my phone and log into my Facebook because the only thing she has to offer is her beauty.

Adaptation to a foreign culture

I’ve been through few re-socialisation processes in my life because I love to explore the world. I spent a year in Rome, a year in Dijon and quite some time in Florence. When I arrived in London I felt like I totally don’t belong here because there are so many things about it that don’t mach my values. I went through a hurricane of emotions, experienced a strong depression and felt like I want to shoot myself. Like my life wasn’t hard enough I went through the worst breakup I have ever had and for the final blow almost everything went wrong. I lost my self-esteem and I just couldn’t pull myself back together. After this crazy bumpy ride I entered a vegetating state where I was just living and not making progress. I talked to many people who experienced how it is like to leave your own country in search of financial independence, survival and career and everyone went through the same storm. Guess the saying what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger is true, because I am entering a powerful mode again. I know there will be much more ups and downs, but I also know that the main pain is over.

One of the best things about people’s psychology is the capability of adaptation. We of course need to adapt, otherwise we wouldn’t be able to survive. I just love to analyze my thoughts and behaviour patterns because this makes me progress in life. I finally started to get my strength back. I started to see the world from another perspective. There are so many things I could complain about but it is pointless. I feel like I was thrown into an ocean and now I need to learn how to swim, so I will start swimming today. For the last year I was drowning, but now I finally started floating on the water. It will take some time for me to start swimming like I was born in the ocean, but eventually I will do it. The best thing about being thrown in the water is that it makes people empathetic. I was emotional before, but now, now I feel people like never before. So what should I do with my skill? I became amazing in reading people and I developed such intuition that I am sometimes afraid of my “powers”. I started loving like never before and people love me back. It is an amazing feeling!

I always wanted to be successful in life, create my own company again, because I already bankrupted two. If you need an advice how to bankrupt a company, please give me a call. Maybe one day I will put my ideas into a new company again, but for now, what matters is that I spread love. People lots of times think I am crazy, because I am so opened and I start asking them personal questions, even though we just met. But eventually they start liking this kind of craziness. So I am happy. I like who I became. Now I just wonder if I can be successful with this kind of a mindset because too many times in my life I was proved that generosity, unselfishness and good heart, don’t pay back. But hey, at least I will die with a clean soul.

Adaptation is great because it gives us power. There are too many people who live in their own comfortable bubbles and don’t need to adapt because life for them is financially set. They stay in their comfort zones which is bad, because they don’t develop empathy. I think being comfortable locks your heart and doesn’t let you experience love in its full potential.

So today I advise you to jump out of your comfort, pop your bubble and start living. Life is short, so jump in the sea and start swimming!!! I know it is hard, but life is hard, otherwise we wouldn’t be able to know how good it feels when it is not. I feel like I am working day and night because there are so many things I want to do. The more things I do and the more things I know, the more I know there are far more things I could know and far more things I could do, which makes me feel like I don’t know anything and that I am not good enough in what I do. This is a paradox of choice. The more choices we have, the more confused we are. So I still don’t know if it is better to be specialised or is it better to have a whole wide range of skills even though you haven’t perfected any. In a way experiencing foreign cultures and minds of people gives me pleasure and it also makes me confused, because being comfortable feels good and you can’t feel very comfortable if things keep on changing drastically. Can living in a foreign country make me happy, or will I always miss my country? The funny thing is that if I decide to go back, I will need to adapt again because I have seen the world that is different. I guess life is all about adaptation and the only constant thing in our lives is actually change. Lol! I don’t know!!! Looks like I am confused. I guess I still need some time to process my thoughts.

Is freedom scary?

We all want to be free! We don’t want to obey rules and we always want to do things we are passionate about. But life wouldn’t be life if it was that easy. Therefore our need for freedom can be affected by million things. We might feel captured because we don’t like our job, because we don’t like our relationship or even because we are captured in our own thoughts. But we can always change that. We can leave our partner, we can change our job or we can change our mind set and free our souls, though I never thought that being free takes guts. I never thought that being free can actually scare us. We all want to be free, but just to a certain extent. So for example, we finally escaped a destructive relationship, but now we are alone and to be alone and satisfied with yourself can be terrifying. We start to wonder when will we be loved again and when will we find a happy relationship.

Freedom takes courage because you will realize that you are alone in this world. We love freedom and we love safety so our freedom is determined on how good we are in compromising. This is how freedom becomes a paradox between safety and flying with the wind. Some people are more drawn to safety and some people like flying with birds. Freedom means adapting to change and if you have a strong need for safety think twice how free you actually want to be. Some people hate change whereas I thing change should be the only constant thing in our lives. The better we are with dealing with change the happier we can be. The world is not safe and making changes hurts but this is the only way to understand life. When I look at people in my country I see them living in a comfortable bubble not having a slightest clue what is on the other side. This is o.k. Some people dye happily in their own bubble. But not me!

My bubbles pop like sop balloons. I love pushing myself into the unknown because I always wonder what is on the other side. When my balloon pops lots of times it hurts like hell, but after a while I start to see the world totally differently. I am afraid because the more I pop my balloons, the more different I become comparing to people I know and this is why I am surprised. I think people just don’t understand freedom. For me freedom equals love for everything and everyone and there are not many people who would understand that we are all one. Therefore I am free but at the same time I am lost because if I am not careful some people might perceive me like a feather that goes with the wind.

Maybe I complicated this post too much. The only thing I wanted to tell you is that freedom takes strength and I call this strength the power of living. Be free! Be whoever you want to be and just do it!

Today I am thankful for:

Spending an amazing time with Anellia from Kazahstan who explored new parts of London with me! We ate Sushi in Hyde Park which is totally unforgettable!

Getting planty of models for my new makeup video tutorials.

Understanding what actions to take to improve my life.

Improving my makeup skills.

Realizing that one day is a seriously long time if you live the moment!