I’ve been through few re-socialisation processes in my life because I love to explore the world. I spent a year in Rome, a year in Dijon and quite some time in Florence. When I arrived in London I felt like I totally don’t belong here because there are so many things about it that don’t mach my values. I went through a hurricane of emotions, experienced a strong depression and felt like I want to shoot myself. Like my life wasn’t hard enough I went through the worst breakup I have ever had and for the final blow almost everything went wrong. I lost my self-esteem and I just couldn’t pull myself back together. After this crazy bumpy ride I entered a vegetating state where I was just living and not making progress. I talked to many people who experienced how it is like to leave your own country in search of financial independence, survival and career and everyone went through the same storm. Guess the saying what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger is true, because I am entering a powerful mode again. I know there will be much more ups and downs, but I also know that the main pain is over.
One of the best things about people’s psychology is the capability of adaptation. We of course need to adapt, otherwise we wouldn’t be able to survive. I just love to analyze my thoughts and behaviour patterns because this makes me progress in life. I finally started to get my strength back. I started to see the world from another perspective. There are so many things I could complain about but it is pointless. I feel like I was thrown into an ocean and now I need to learn how to swim, so I will start swimming today. For the last year I was drowning, but now I finally started floating on the water. It will take some time for me to start swimming like I was born in the ocean, but eventually I will do it. The best thing about being thrown in the water is that it makes people empathetic. I was emotional before, but now, now I feel people like never before. So what should I do with my skill? I became amazing in reading people and I developed such intuition that I am sometimes afraid of my “powers”. I started loving like never before and people love me back. It is an amazing feeling!
I always wanted to be successful in life, create my own company again, because I already bankrupted two. If you need an advice how to bankrupt a company, please give me a call. Maybe one day I will put my ideas into a new company again, but for now, what matters is that I spread love. People lots of times think I am crazy, because I am so opened and I start asking them personal questions, even though we just met. But eventually they start liking this kind of craziness. So I am happy. I like who I became. Now I just wonder if I can be successful with this kind of a mindset because too many times in my life I was proved that generosity, unselfishness and good heart, don’t pay back. But hey, at least I will die with a clean soul.
Adaptation is great because it gives us power. There are too many people who live in their own comfortable bubbles and don’t need to adapt because life for them is financially set. They stay in their comfort zones which is bad, because they don’t develop empathy. I think being comfortable locks your heart and doesn’t let you experience love in its full potential.
So today I advise you to jump out of your comfort, pop your bubble and start living. Life is short, so jump in the sea and start swimming!!! I know it is hard, but life is hard, otherwise we wouldn’t be able to know how good it feels when it is not. I feel like I am working day and night because there are so many things I want to do. The more things I do and the more things I know, the more I know there are far more things I could know and far more things I could do, which makes me feel like I don’t know anything and that I am not good enough in what I do. This is a paradox of choice. The more choices we have, the more confused we are. So I still don’t know if it is better to be specialised or is it better to have a whole wide range of skills even though you haven’t perfected any. In a way experiencing foreign cultures and minds of people gives me pleasure and it also makes me confused, because being comfortable feels good and you can’t feel very comfortable if things keep on changing drastically. Can living in a foreign country make me happy, or will I always miss my country? The funny thing is that if I decide to go back, I will need to adapt again because I have seen the world that is different. I guess life is all about adaptation and the only constant thing in our lives is actually change. Lol! I don’t know!!! Looks like I am confused. I guess I still need some time to process my thoughts.