Since I moved to London I lost almost all of my strength and self-confidence. I became so dissatisfied with what I am doing. I know that everything is in the head and that I am destroying myself with my own thoughts. Of course there are so many bad things in my life comparing to what I was used to before, but that doesn’t mean I need to concentrate on them which I do unfortunately. I started concentrating on the bad things, thinking about my past and my future and now I am totally depressed and I don’t see the way out. But for example, it is not only me that drives with the tube to work each day. Some people are standing on it even longer and it is not only me standing on my feet at work for eight hours.
So because everything is in my head, I need to change that, otherwise I will lie under my own cross. It is not a disgrace to fall under the cross, but it is if you lay under it and stay there. The power of will is the strongest power in the world so changing it without a plan would be a foolish behaviour. Therefore I decided to do psychotherapy on myself. I don’t want to go to a therapist and I don’t have money either! I read a book of Viktor Frankel where he is writing about how he survived a concentration camp in Auschwitz. I am laughing right now! If he survived Auschwitz for four years, there is no way I wouldn’t survive London, because there is no comparison!!! So you see! Everything is in your mind.
Therefore I need to reprogram myself and this is how I’ll do it. William Glasser developed a reality therapy.
He said people are like the car you see on the picture I drew.
The big heart is the motor. The motor consists of strength, love or belonging, freedom and entertainment. The motor pulls us because it follows our needs in life. It pulls us because we want to succeed, love, be free in our decisions and we would like to have fun on the way. The motor pulls, therefore we need steering wheels. One steering wheel is our thinking and one steering wheel is our acting. You all know what is thinking because if you would be thinking loud, people would say you are crazy! From my point of view thoughts are far harder to control, but we can actually control them with our acting. Acting is what actions we take. If we are thinking too much we can grab a book and start reading it so we occupy our head. Functioning also means constant behaviour in order to feel better so for example, writing each evening what are you thankful for.
The rear wheels of the car are feelings and physiology. If we steer on a muddy terrain with bad thoughts and useless actions, our feelings will be disappointed and our physiology will be damaged. I will take this in consideration in the next posts so eventually I will be able to build a perfect car step by step. I would like you to be on a journey with me so let’s start with something easy. In each post I will write five things for which I am thankful and I would like you to do the same. I really wonder what are you thankful for. It doesn’t need to be something big, just write whatever makes you happy. So… Today I am thankful for:
Talking to Suzy, because she is one of the most amazing women I have met in my life and her fiancé should be ecstatic to have her by his side.
Meeting three amazing women on the counter that really make a difference in this world by what they do because they do it with so much passion.
Having a meeting with my managers and telling them an idea to boost sales which they accepted with admiration.
Going into the gym even though I didn’t feel like it.
Being able to post my video despite the fact that I was so tired I just wanted to go to sleep.
Kisses to everyone! Niiiiggghhhttt! J