I am really not proud of few things I did in my life and I regret some also. So I was thinking how cool it would be if I had a time machine. But you know what? It wouldn’t be because we all learn from our mistakes!
I know I shouldn’t regret but still… Things I most regret are always connected to people. I don’t care if I missed some opportunities in my life because it always finds a way but I regret situations when I hurt someone. It is sad that sometimes there is no other way than to hurt another person because you put yourself on the first place but that is another story.
So I was thinking why some words or actions of others hurt so much and I realised nothing hurts more as when someone takes an emotional advantage of you.
I spoke with my mother and she said I should let it go because these people are not a part of my life anymore. She said don’t breed anger towards the ones that hurt you because it is a waste of energy. I spoke with friends of mine and they all said the same. They said why do you even care? So why do I actually care if everyone thinks I shouldn’t.
First thing why I care is because I think I deserve an apology. But why would people apologize if they did it on purpose? Of course they won’t change in a week and therefore it is not likely they will play part in your life again.
I actually got an apology once after a long time and I remember how good I felt. It was an amazing apology that made sense. I was just mad because if it happened before I wouldn’t be crashing my head over it.
But the question is why would an apology make a difference? I am not talking about little words that hurt when people fight and they say something totally irrational, I am talking about purposely hurting a person. Emotional abuse is just too much to take for our minds because people that are very emotional and can feel really hurt are the ones that think too much. You need to understand that there are two types of people. People that think emotionally and the people that think rationally. You find people in between but these are two main categories. I came up with a conclusion that emotional people cannot rationally go over emotional abuse because the more we think about it the more it hurts. For people that think rationally emotional abuse doesn’t make much damage because they think about it, call the person that took advantage of them an idiot and move on. This is also why rational people are always in a relationship. I could also be in a relationship for example till I would find another girlfriend but for me that would be an emotional abuse of a girl I was dating. So do rational people hurt emotional people without knowing and is it possible for a rational and emotional person to even be a couple? I don’t know. Looks like I need to write another post. I just wanted to say that it is easy for rational people to move on whereas emotional people need time to process their thoughts.
Why does emotional abuse hurt so much? It hurts because it is deep. It actually happens on three levels. Let’s take emotional abuse in a relationship for example. It hurts because we feel betrayed as a partner. Even though we are not in a relationship anymore we feel like our trust has been betrayed. We are hurt as a woman or a man because we don’t feel wanted and desired anymore. We feel hurt as a person because we believed in something which proved to be a lie and most of the time we feel ashamed because we consider it as a personal failure. There are many more traumatic experiences in life but not many of them are that emotionally intensive and various.
So… What should you do if you are an emotional person and you just experienced an emotional abuse? Lol! Don’t ask me! I always let time heal my wounds. 🙂